Friday, January 28, 2011

I should be flattered...

I should be flattered. I went to an autism event last Friday held at jumping beans a chance for families with autism to have a controlled environment for their kids to play and a chance to fellowship with other parents.

Joshua was actually having a very good night. He was happy energetic playing well with others and terrorizing his sister, he was showing off his "typical side" so to speak.

Well I got to talking to another mom with a 4 yr old with autism. He wasn't as high functioning as Joshua but he did remind me a lot of Joshua when he was 4. Well she just could not believe hat joshua had autism.

"but he makes great eye contact"

Well yeah I said that has never been a major issue for him I explained.

"he's playing so well with others"

Yeah I know, he's having a good night.

"He just came over and had a long conversation with you, my son would never do that. "

Yeah my son didn't start talking until he was 3 and he is almost 6. He was similar to your son back then.

"he reminds me a lot of my niece, she's not on the spectrum just hyperactive"

Hmm well you know what they say you meet one child with autism, you've met one child with autism. As I smile nicely and excuse myself to go play with my apparently typical child and to tear him off of Emily.

Here is what I wanted to say.

Look I know I should be flattered that you think there is nothing wrong with my child but enough already. Stop questioning. He's two years older than your son. I want to really go into all his struggles but I'm here to relax and I don't feel the need to justify nor defend his diagnosis.


  1. Why do people feel the need to question everything? J has been tested and confirmed by professionals,which this woman is not. It is what it is and you are dealing with it wonderfully...and what it isn't, is a competition over who's child has worse autism. Jeesh...some people have no cooth.

  2. I get that all the time. It's like if you child doesn't have classic autism, they don't have autism at all. I actually HATE going to autism events for this reason. We actually went to a music for autism concert yesterday and the majority of the kids, the VAST majority, had profound autism/cognitively affected. I am sure Katie looked completely typical to them and then I felt guilty even being there and taking up a space. The spectrum is GIANT...but people don't seem to realize that there is a higher end that looks completely different from those struggling with the most severe form.

  3. I actually stay pretty active in our autism community regardless. I try to ignore the comments because most people are nice and encouraging.